Normally, I like to stay away from “How-To” books. They seem to stifle my creative nature, but also because, I long to follow a formula that looks nice and neat, tying life in a pretty bow. So, when the title promises me 5 Guaranteed Ways to Grow a Happy Family in 3 Easy Steps, it sounds appealing as I imagine my darling children all neatly dressed with ironed pants, smiling at me even when I tell them No.

Inwardly I want that book. I want to follow those 3 Easy Steps and obtain the advertised results. But I’ve tried to follow the 3 easy step philosophies and claim my overnight success as a parent and….failed.

I quickly thought about this glitch of mine when Wendy Speake Brunner asked me to read and share in the launch of her and Amber’s new book, Triggers.


Great, I thought as I sent my reply agreeing to write a blog post and share my opinion of the book with the moms I know. I hoped I would like it and I wouldn’t be looking for how-to sneak out of my commitment.

But let me tell you, this book is not what I would call a lousy How-To book. This book is filled with life giving principles of biblical motherhood.

It is evident Wendy and Amber care about moms. They don’t pretend to be perfect parents, sharing only their highlights and secret success formulas. They also don’t harp on their failures, luring us into a pity party. They are open, honest and real, describing real life mess ups and lessons they learned in the process.

They are locking arms with us in this season of motherhood.

Here are a few of my favorite passages:

On obedience:

God is not cookie cutter, yet His character is consistent. As parents we can camp out on a few select verses about justice and discipline, establishing a rigid routine for discipline {my experience with other how-to parenting books}. However, I see far more biblical evidence throughout both the Old and New Testaments that supports an overarching attitude and character of patience, mercy, kindness and grace extended towards us from a Holy God who loves us and gave Himself for us.

Iron fists chisel stony hearts, but graceful hands shape responsive hearts.

On Backtalk:

When our children do wrong and we stay calm and controlled, they know that they’ve done wrong. They do! They know it down to their convicted little cores! However, when we exchange angry word for angry word, nasty face for nasty face, slamming door for slamming door, and tear them down with our words because they tore us down with theirs, they will never feel remorse for their own actions. We have just hijacked that teachable moment.

Figure out what you mean to say before you say something mean.

On Disrespect:

When my kids’ disrespectful actions trigger my anger, I can turn reflective instead of reactive. Those moments are opportunities for me to consider whether or not I value them enough to hold my tongue and treat them with the respect that they are not showing to me.”

The process of parenting inconsiderate sons and daughters begins with our own humility – a bearing-our-own-cross kind of humility that yields our rights to the way we want to be treated in exchange for grace.

So well said. Thank you Wendy and Amber!

Are you ready to exchange your angry responses for gentle, Biblical ones? You can purchase your copy at HERE on Amazon!

2 thoughts on “Triggers

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