Marble Sized Troubles

For 3 nights in a row I couldn’t get to sleep. I tossed. I turned. Kicked off the covers. Looked at the clock.

Finally I decided to get up and quietly saunter into our office area, without disturbing my able to sleep husband.

I sat in my new favorite chair, opened my Bible and prayed. “Lord. Here I am. Speak.”

I turned to one of my favorites books when I don’t know what else to read – the Psalms. Starting in chapter 9 I read “I will praise you, O Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonders, I will be glad and rejoice in You; I will sing praise to Your name, O Most High…”

Instantly and gently it’s like the Lord sat next to me and reminded me how I praise Him through writing. Writing my journey through the ups and downs of life is how I process what God’s teaching me and praise all He’s done. And I haven’t really been doing it.

So here I am.

Psalm 9:9 says “The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know Your name will trust in You, for you, Lord have never forsaken those who seek you.”

A refuge for the oppressed. A stronghold in times of trouble.

Adam and I were walking the other day and discussing the “times of trouble” in our life. We concluded that throughout our 20 years of marriage we can’t think of a single year that didn’t hold a Mount Everest size trouble.

Most of them have been financial and business oriented, but for our entire marriage there has been some giant in front of us that we have prayed for God to slay or move or show us a different route around.

Except for this year.

Sometime I’ll find the time and energy to share in writing what God did, but to summarize, God killed a Goliath in our lives on January 4th of this year. And honestly there hasn’t been another giant to replace it. Which, oddly enough has left us feeling….weird. It’s like we’re on guard just waiting for what’s coming around the corner. Now there’s just this void, an absence of strife and a presence of peace and calm, which has just never stayed around long before.

There’s a song by Sanctus Real called Confidence. The chorus goes: “So give me faith like Daniel in the lion’s den. Give me hope like Moses in the wilderness. Give me a heart like David, Lord be my defense. So I can face my giants with confidence.”

When I sing the last line, I immediately think Lord, what is the giant in my life right now?

Honestly I’m not facing one thing that’s towering over me. I feel like my troubles look more like a bunch of marbles thrown on the floor that want to trip me up!

Between the mood swings of 2 teenagers, sports schedules, activities, homeschool and working, the biggest giant in front of me is my attitude! And finding time to stop and be in tune with the Lord.

It’s like the giant has shifted. Instead of an enemy to slay, the giant is how to steward what God has gifted to us.

How do we share and celebrate all He’s done? Instead of using our energy bracing our self for the next blow, how can we shoulder the burdens of friends who are facing giants?

And how do we raise kids who will leave our home and be responsible adults? Those are the marbles on the floor for me now. And thankfully, God is still my stronghold no matter the size of the trouble!

 

 

 

 

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