Embracing Motherhood Even When I Don’t Wanna Be a Mom Today

I haven’t felt like being a mom today – or this week for that matter.

Maybe it’s this new blog and all the stories that fill my mind. Maybe it’s the family adventure we’re about to embark on. Maybe it’s that time of the month.

It’s just that I’m tired of no-win situations. I make one kid happy just to make the other mad – it wears on a person, ya know!

I don’t know, but when I think about fixing dinner, honestly, I’d really rather not. Meal planning – ugh, I think I’ll fast. Laundry – can’t you do your own? Dishes – please wash yourself. Truly, I have no motivation left.

Caleb’s projects are wonderful, yet his constant intensity makes me tired just watching him. Mackenzie, the angel of the family, just seems to follow me around. I can’t tell if I’m that exciting, if she’s lonely, or waiting for me to come up with a big exciting plan. Zach, he makes me laugh, he tries to be real nice during these times. “I just love you Mommie!”

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Being a Mom is hard! Have you noticed that? We don’t get a day off, lunch break or teacher in-service day to get the chores done without kids there. We’re expected and needed to run the house and plan the meals. It’s hard.

I’m staring down the barrel of the teenage years and I scream “I don’t know how to do this!” My almost 12 year old son makes noises and body jerks I’ve never seen before. It scares me of what’s to come.

There, it feels so much better to admit all that than carry it around in my back pocket. It feels like it just grows and grows and will overcome me back there.

What troubles you? What hardships are you facing? I want to tell you, you are not alone. They may not look just like mine, but God sees. He saw Hagar, cast away to the wilderness by Abraham and Sarah and He spoke to her. He will speak to us to, no matter where we are. Listen to Him. He knows our load. He sees what goes unnoticed to others. He hears us. Ultimately, He loves us.

Yes, being a mom is hard. We have good days and bad. Days we never want to end and days we can’t wait to end with a glass of wine. But in the end, I believe Moms are the heroes of society. Single moms, working moms, stay at home moms, no one can replace you. You would be missed if you weren’t there. All the things you do no one says thank you for or seems to even notice, they would. Thank you for doing them. They love you. You are their hero.

This morning, I made a list of chores for my kids to work on while I reclused behind the locked door of my bedroom. Writing soothes and heals my soul, and I needed some.

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What soothes you? Take some time and do it. You need it. You’ll be a better mom for it – and that’s something everyone can get excited about because “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t no body happy” right?!

Thank you Moms, for being a Mom even when you don’t feel like it!

Drink in Casting Crown’s song Heroes – it’s to moms everywhere on this Mother’s day week. Especially my mom who is definitely my hero!

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