What if I Just Want to be with You?

 I’ve had a long standing rule in my house that “wake up” time is at 7:00 a.m. I need my sleep and space in the morning so everyone is to stay in their room till then.
Before my oldest son turned three, I had a clock in his room with stars marking the 7 and 12. I followed this timely gift with a conversation about when the little hand points to the 7 and the big hand points to the 12, that means it’s 7:00 and you can wake up!
For the most part it worked. At times, even now, one of the kids will push the envelope and crack open the living room door at 6:55, just to check the validity of this invisible boundary. I usually let it slide, but then in a couple days, 6:55 turns to 6:50 and then to 6:45.

Before I realize it, kids are jumping in my bed at 6:30 and I’m ready to blow my top. We re-establish this un-movable boundary because I am just a person who has to wake up slowly and calmly, without dealing with “I’m hungry” and “She touched me!” right out of the starting gate.

So one morning my youngest son who’s 5, meanders into my room at 6:30. My immediate reaction is to ask him why he’s up so early and send him back to bed.

Before I could get the words out, his sleepy eyes met mine and he said, “I woke up extra early just so I could be with you.”

My what-are-you-doing-here furled brow melted. He crawled in my bed, wrapped himself up like a burrito with my covers and snuggled his little body as close to mine as he could.

Most mornings I’m up by 6 to have my “quiet time” with the Lord – to read, pray, write – and just get my mind wrapped around the day in front of me. So, as Zach slipped beside me with my Bible propped up on my lap, my heart was pierced. “I woke up extra early just to be with you.”

Is that my attitude this morning?

I woke up, to read the Bible and pray, but was my heart waking up early just to be with Jesus or to satisfy some preconceived notion of how I’m supposed to start my day?

Do I wake up before the “right” time so that I know no one else will get His lap first? Do I come without any agenda except to be next to Him? Does His very Presence bring me comfort?

No, I don’t always.

But I want to.

My son demonstrated to me the true heart of worship. It doesn’t have to come dressed in my Sunday Best with my hair and make-up done well. It doesn’t have to be a pre-set formula I just add all the right numbers to.

Do I – do you – just long to be with Jesus? Sometimes, honestly, yes I do, but because I have urgent questions that need to be answered right now. I go to Him, but I don’t have time to just BE. I have too many other little hands pulling at me.

Now, I’m not saying it’s wrong to go to Jesus with questions or a heavy heart and desperately want to hear something from Him. That has its place. There’s also a time to come, sit at his feet or curl up in His lap and just BE.

We see Mary of Bethany do it twice. Once while Jesus was visiting her house, Mary just sat at his feet, mesmerized by what He said. Her sister, Martha, yelled from the kitchen, “Jesus, will you tell Mary to come help me?” He answered her, “No, Martha, Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken from her.” (paraphrased from Luke 10)

Later on in chapter 12 of Luke, a week before Jesus was crucified, we again see Mary at the feet of Jesus. Jesus was the honored guest at the house of Mary, Martha and Lazarus.

Again, Martha is serving, and this time when she peeks around the corner of the kitchen to see what’s going on in the other room, she sees her sister Mary, breaking a precious bottle of perfume over Jesus’ dusty feet and wiping it away with her hair. The fragrance of the perfume fills the room, and a smile spills over her mouth and the mouth of Jesus.

Judas, not Martha, speaks up this time and utters something about this bottle should’ve been used to help the poor… But Jesus steps in again beside Mary and says to Judas, “Leave her alone.” Mary chose to worship, even at the wrong “time” and Jesus commended her for it.

When we sit at His feet, or snuggle at His side, we are changed. Our mind shifts from the cares of this world to eternal purposes. Our heart overflows with gratitude where injustice once consumed.

Freedom reigns in our souls where unforgiveness once bound us. Our lips sing the Praise of the Almighty rather than curse the deeds of our neighbor. Our ears are filled with the sound of God’s Promises, rather than the empty plans of man. Here, it is unexplainable, but we are truly satisfied.

He calls us to come. He sets no time-frame. He is always awake and never grumpy. Are we willing, as Zach was, to break the “rules” just to spend time with our Savior?

Paul Baloche has a song called, “Just to be with you” that I think fits in well here.

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