I’ve listened to the lie long enough.
-I’ll never have enough time
-never have enough money
-won’t make enough dinner
– boobs aren’t big enough anymore
– won’t prepare enough
-not funny enough
-won’t write well enough
– don’t share enough
– don’t try hard enough
Honestly, I came up with those in 20 seconds. I hear these negative words all the time.
Today I’m squishing them. I’m not listening to the anymore.
I’m going to stop apologizing for being me and do the best I can with what I have and trust that it will be enough.
I like to finish things. I think you know this about me by now, but just in case we just met, let’s get that out of the way.
Projects, years, days, meals, stages, remodels – I like the finished product. I start things in a whirl of excitement and just hold my breath until the last nail is hammered, the glue dried, the dish returned, the confetti swept up. Then, I freely and joyfully exhale.
In the finishing I fell accomplished, victorious and fruitful.
Remember the line from the movie Remember the Titans, “Make ‘em remember the night they played the Titans”? I love it!
Winning and finishing fuels my soul. It waters something deep down inside of me and whispers, “Yes! You were made for this.”
Maybe I was, but let’s go back to reality.
Motherhood, homeschooling, the everyday living – how much of that is ever finished?
So much of life is maintenance. I finish breakfast only to start lunch. My 2 year old finished the terrible twos stage only to enter the torrential threes. Pre-adolesence is followed by adolescence. I dusted just two weeks ago and do you know what is forming on top of my dresser? Yes. Dust. I know I washed this shirt just last week and those pants a couple days ago. Why are they in the laundry room again, I hear myself ask.
Because life is about maintenance. Completed, only to do again.
Hard, for a finish line girl like me.
But this morning, God showed me something new in the story of Creation. I often think of God Himself resting on the 7th day and relate that to how important times of rest are. What usually stands out to me is how God finished everything the day before and then rested.
I think, “I would rest too, if I finished all that!”
That’s why I’m pushing everyone to work faster, so we can be done and rest!
When I wake up in the morning on mission to finish something, I go to bed defeated and disappointed. And I miss something.
During the Creation of the world, God spent his day creating everything we now see. Take Day 3 for example. He created the plants and the fruit bearing trees. He finished His day by looking at what He created and said, “This is good.”
Was He finished? No!
Yes, He created pear trees but He still had fish, reptiles, whales, people, elephants and many other creatures to create. He was nowhere near finished.
Yet everyday He called what He did, good.
To me, that creates a finish line. It doesn’t say there isn’t more to be done, but it is rejoicing in what has been accomplished. It’s a victory.
So I decided to put that into action.
After the kids were tucked in bed, I looked at my clothes yet to be unpacked from my trip to Allume, the books that need a home and the papers scattered. I looked at my bed with the load of whites I just took out from the dryer, now beckoning to be folded. I looked at my kitchen, wrecked from the locust swarm at dinner.
And I said out loud to myself (this is normal for only children) –
This is good. I am not a better mom when this is all straightened and in place. It’s OK my suitcase isn’t unpacked. The dishes will survive a night out of the cabinet. I am not a failure because that room is a wreck!
I went in our bedroom and told my husband what I just did and he said, “What did you do with my wife?”
But it’s true! I am right where I need to be. Yes, I look forward to when this and that are finished and in order, but I am loved here in the middle of this mess.
And so are you.
Do you love finishing? How can you make small finish lines in your day?
That’s it! The 31 day challenge is completed. Talk about a wonderful finish line! It has been good. Now it’s your turn. I want to hear which post encouraged you the most and why. Also, would you share that either via email or social media for it to encourage someone else? I’m thankful you joined me during this month of watering my mustard seed of faith. I hope your faith grew as much as mine did!