When Thoughts Feel Like a Loaded Gun

I dream a lot. Sometimes they are crazy, off the wall dreams, and sometimes they are so real I wake up thinking I was there. God often speaks to me in my dreams, confirming or guiding an issue I’m wrestling with. He speaks to me through pictures, images that He takes to a deeper level when I really put my ear to the ground and listen.

One night I had this dream that my cousin’s wedding was taking place at my grandparent’s house out in a field. Now, at the time of this dream, my grandparents actually did live just across a field from me.

The surroundings were familiar and everyone was at the house getting ready for the big moment. Suddenly, I realized I forgot something. Something important. Something we needed now. So I walked back to my house to get it.

When I walked in my house, it felt creepy. It was dark, and shadows danced everywhere. The windows were open and long, sheer curtains waved in the breeze.

I had to walk down a lengthy, narrow hallway and as I did, I saw children seated up against the wall, each holding a shotgun. As I walked by, one child at a time would rise up and cock their gun.

I was terrified.

I just stood there, staring at them, fear suffocating me.

The funny thing was, they never shot me, just stared at me until I walked past them.

When I woke up, I asked the Lord to reveal the meaning of the dream. He showed me the children with a loaded gun were my fearful thoughts and imaginations. My thoughts can rise up and create imaginations that aren’t reality which seize me in fear. I feel like they’re real, but they aren’t.

A few weeks later, I had the same dream again, but this time a Man walked down the hall beside me and anytime a child stood up and pointed his gun at me, He commanded the child to sit down and put the gun away. Then He ushered me down the hallway.

Isn’t that a beautiful picture of what Jesus has done? I am His child and He commands the fearful thoughts to flee!

Do you ever struggle with fearful thoughts like that? 

What fears or imaginations stand up to seize you? 

Maybe the fear that rises up in you is an image of someone you once were before Jesus became Lord of your life. The fear that you could go back to being her again is frightening. The old thought patterns and shameful deeds done in darkness can rise up and the cock the gun in your face…

Or maybe, like me, you’ve been a Christian your whole life, but the image of who you could be without Jesus often haunts you. Shameful imaginations play out in your mind, secretly condemning you and keeping you awake at night…

Can I tell you something? That is NOT who you are!!

You are a daughter of the Most High King of kings!

You are beautiful to Him and dearly loved.

You are a new creation. The old things are gone, and now all things are new.

You are pure and dressed in white.

One thing I’ve learned as I’ve walked past the fear in my life is that I have an old self. No matter when you accepted Jesus as Savior, you still have an old self and with it, old thoughts and desires.

Jesus didn’t come to dress up that old self and make it look better.

He came to give us a new self – created to be like Him in true righteousness and holiness.

But as long as we walk this earth, our old self is still there. And there is where the battle rages. Old Self vs New Self. Who will win? Which one will we listen to?

The fears and imaginations that our old self or Satan or temptations produce can come alive at times, but yet they are dead against the back drop of the Cross!

So when fearful thoughts rise up and cock a gun in your face, imagine Jesus standing in between you and that fear. Just as He commanded the waves to be still for the fearful disciples in the boat, He can still the storm in you. He can tell that fear to sit down and then escort you down the hallway, away from that potential captor.

Remember, those fears are not who you are!

Jesus stands beside you, and He is all the power you need to be victorious over fear.

Fear not, for I have redeemed you. I have called you by name, you are mine.” Isaiah 43:1

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ he is a new creation. The old has passed away, behold, the new has come. 2 Corinthians 5:17

We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ… 2 Corinthians 10:5

For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1


Have you heard about my book? No More Secrets: Set Free from Fear, Shame and Control by Discovering True Grace is a memoir of God cleaning out the trunk of my soul and helping me overcome thoughts that tried to take me captive. You can pick up your copy at Amazon today!




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