37 Reasons Why I Can’t Sleep

I need to stop thinking about blogging and actually get some sleep tonight. My body aches, my brain is fuzzy, and my eyes are bloodshot. It’s from deciphering all the Widgets and new WordPress lingo.

I tell myself I can do this, but then, I don’t know. I’ve never been popular or had the perfect word to say. What if I totally goof up and all this work is for not?

Instead of going to sleep I’m staring at the screen, reading about titles, how-to’s and other themes. I need engaging content, “elicit reader interest”, a comment moderator, and the paragraphs that I learned in school are totally thrown out here.

Each sentence has a line of its own?! My English teacher would choke!

Questions haunt me as I cook dinner: Why would people read my blog? What is my focus? Is this paragraph too long? Too short? TMI? How does my format look? Can you find my Contact page alright? Is it clean, easy to navigate? Are all my pictures linked? Does the video load? Is the right sentence highlighted in bold?

My head is swimming through gallons of new ideas. But the laundry doesn’t clean itself, and dinner also needs my help; oh there are so many other things I should be doing!

When my son comes in to tell me of a cool new invention he’s made, I hear instead, “what verb should I use there? And where was that article that I read?”

Oh yeah, I need to pin that,

Need to find my way around twitter.

I wake up at 3 a.m., my heart racing – will I ever get this done? Will this insanity ever stop? Get easier, smoother maybe?

I thought blogging was just about writing! I just wanted to write what’s on my heart and let Jesus blow the words to where He wants them to go. I didn’t sign up for this! I’m not techy – I homeschool! But yet, what if it works…what if they’re right and I can do this?

I don’t like to hear I’ve done it all wrong for two years. I didn’t know titles really mattered, formatting determines whether or not people actually read my words, and images aren’t the extras. So that’s why my blog never went anywhere!

I need to get some sleep tonight, yet here I am again. Sitting with pen and paper and processing all that’s in my head. Isn’t that what blogging is all about? That there’s hope for me – all of us who fumble around in this life?

Then I heard this song:

The fact is God has led me here. He tells me to slow down and enjoy this process. I will choose to fumble through titles and layouts, and trust Him to fill my shortcoming and weaknesses.

He knew them when He asked me to do this. I commit to do my best with what knowledge I have. I promise to bring the words laid on my heart to this space. I hope you will look past my bad titles, my paragraphs and crummy pictures… I’m working on it. I tried to go back and change it all, but I think they stand as a monument. That’s where I came from and it can only get better from here.

Jesus doesn’t ask me to clean it all up before I come to Him, and I ask for the same Grace from you.

There, I don’t know if that was 37 reasons or not, but now I think I can sleep!

3 thoughts on “37 Reasons Why I Can’t Sleep

  1. Joan says:

    Hi Julie:

    I’m excited for you and your new blog! And yes, I understand what it’s like as a writer who just wants to write. But I believe that if Jesus has called you to do this, He will get the message to those who need to hear it.



  2. Suellen says:

    I love this! It made me feel for your generation with SOOOO much technology ‘opportunity’ so young. It certainly makes my head spin at 65-but assumed it felt natural to you. I’m sure you’ll learn to LIVE in spite of it, though – not so sure about me….


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