Will You Trust Me?

Jogging down the back roads behind my house with hay bales dotting the horizon, I felt the Lord ask me to write my story. Actually, I had already written it in the pages of my journal, but He was saying it’s time to compile it – all of it.

The words of this story frequently came like labor pains at midnight, hard and fast and impossible to sleep through.

Get up! The Lord would nudge me. Write it down!

I would fight against the prompting for two hours usually, and then finally accept the fact that words being birthed don’t care what time it is.

As I ran that summer morning, I couldn’t out run the voice of the Lord telling me that this story would one day be a published book.

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Emerging from the Cocoon

One year ago today, my feet stepped back onto American soil after spending one month in Kenya, I wrote in my journal. I took a deep breath, and let my head rest back on my pillow, remembering the journey and how good it felt to be home. It felt like yesterday. No, it felt like three years ago!

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It was after that trip that my life completely changed.

So much change happened all of a sudden that I don’t even want to retrace it, yet here I am writing about it.

This change rocked me to my core. It put me flat on my back and knocked the breath out of me.

First sadness set in, then grief, which turned to anxiety and finally depression.

Before last year, I’d not had a personal encounter with those words. Sadness. Grief. Anxiety. Depression. I knew what they meant and I knew people who struggled with them, but they were not feelings I lived with. Sure, I’ve had a bad day or an off week, but eventually the clouds would part in my world and the sun would shine again.

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The Ride of My Life

For some strange reason, Six Flags brings out the teenager in me. A few weeks ago, we took our kids for the first time to this favorite theme park of mine. Yet it was me obnoxiously fidgeting in my seat and dancing along to the radio on the car ride up there.

It was impossible to contain my excitement!

Once we finally walked through the gate, map in hand, I located my favorite ride: Mr. Freeze. I begged and pleaded with my son to join me on what I considered to be the best ride in the whole park.

As we stood in line to this ride that shoots you backwards at 70 mph, I had my own flashbacks to when I was Caleb’s age. I remember standing in the exact same line with my youth group friends, my stomach doing butterflies at what we were about to experience.

As the line died down and we inched closer to the starting gate, my heart rate quickened. My palms started to sweat and I wondered if I’d made a mistake. I wanted to pass on the memory of this ride to my son, but in that moment I worried he wasn’t ready. This was only our second ride, and I wondered if I should have warmed him up a little more.

As the guy holding the microphone prepared the group before us to take off, I started chattering constantly to a group of 13 year old girls I had befriended during our wait.

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When God is On the Move

Recently, in an effort to zone out from all the activity swirling around me and actually rest, I queued up The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. For what better way is there to escape the worries of this world than to wander through the wardrobe with Lucy and embark upon an adventure filled with curiosity, faith, fauns, talking beavers and a battle of Good vs. Evil?

I’ve read the book and seen the movie many times, but the line that caught my attention this go-around was when Peter, Susan and Lucy entered the home of the Beavers. Mr. Beaver looked at all of them and said “Aslan is on the move.”

It reminded me of the song “God is on the move, on the move, Hallelujah. God is on the move in many mighty ways.”

When God is on the move, you know it. The air is different. Your spirit is stirred, restless even in anticipation of what is coming next. You can’t  quite make out what it looks like, but there’s a rustling in the bushes and like a dog with his ears perked, you are waiting expectantly to figure it out.

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A Gift for Jessica

On the spur of the moment last Saturday, we declared a Family Date Night to Tyler. Caleb needed some new shirts, because when you grow 4.5 inches in a year, nothing old fits! Since I had some Kohls cash in my wallet, I figured that was just the place to shop.

We’re also down to 4 hens in the chicken pen, and so buying some new chicks has been on my ever-growing list as well.

As I’m planning the route in my head, all-of-a-sudden I remember the movie God’s Not Dead 2 just came out in theaters! We saw the first one as a family and the kids loved it, so I thought that would make a fun surprise if we could fit it in. I kept it a secret in case we couldn’t.

We all start loading up in the truck when Mackenzie comes outside, flicking her hair back and swinging her purse over her shoulder. She says, “Mom, we’re going to meet someone named Jessica today and when we do, I’m going to give her this flower.”

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How Curious is Your Faith?

Only eight hours after arriving in South Carolina, I found myself nestled in a semi circle of brand new friends. As we sat in the booth and shared stories of who we are, where we came from and how God orchestrated our being at this Allume conference for the first time, our hearts truly connected.

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Not only did I meet some fantastic new writer friends, I also picked up about thirty books to accompany me back home. One of those books was Curious Faith, written by the leader of Allume, Logan Wolfram.

About a month later, when life returned to the valley after the mountain top experience of this conference, I cracked open this beautiful book.

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Logan had me at the first page when she said, “It’s not blinking….the heart isn’t blinking….There was no flutter of a heartbeat on the screen in front of me. Only stillness.”

The baby she hoped to one day hold, had gone to the arms of Jesus.

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The Grand Finale of Write 31 Days

We did it! I wrote my faith journey for 31 straight days and you read along with me.

Thank you!

What started out as a mustard seed of faith grew into a potted plant producing leaves.

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My 5 favorite posts are:

  1. Faith on Center Stage or Behind the Scenes

2. Faith to Listen When God Speaks in a Whisper

3. Faith as a Maker

4. Faith to Descend

5. Faith of Something Beautiful

What I’ve learned in this 31 day journey is faith doesn’t look a certain way. It’s not always in the BIG things we try to do for God. It’s not always in the go, the stand and the rise up. Faith is often found in the stay, sit, wait.

But now it’s your turn. What have you learned? Which post encouraged you? Has the Lord dug around in your heart as you’ve read my journey? What has He stirred in you? What have you done with that stirring?

Would you leave me a note – an email or a comment below about it? Or find my Facebook page and start a conversation there. I’d love to know what the Lord is doing in your life!

Also, do you know someone struggling to believe God right now? With feeling stuck in the molasses swamp of life? Would you share a post with them? Or post your favorite one on social media? I would love to see God use the words He gave me to encourage others beyond my circle of reach.

Thank you so much!

I have some exciting ideas for November and December, so stayed tuned, sign up for emails if you haven’t already and continue walking in faith.

Missed a post? Click on the picture at the bottom to view the whole list.

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Faith to Finish Well

I’ve listened to the lie long enough.

-I’ll never have enough time

-never have enough money

-won’t make enough dinner

– boobs aren’t big enough anymore

– won’t prepare enough

-not funny enough

-won’t write well enough

– don’t share enough

–  don’t try hard enough

-pray enough

-laugh enough

Honestly, I came up with those in 20 seconds. I hear these negative words all the time.

Today I’m squishing them. I’m not listening to the anymore.

I’m going to stop apologizing for being me and do the best I can with what I have and trust that it will be enough.

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Faith to Refocus

There I was.

Closing my eyes and hitting submit for 1 ticket to Allume writers’ conference.

What was I thinking? No one was going with me, it’s all the way in South Carolina for 4 days and…

But yet, something in my spirit said, “Just say yes. Just keep saying yes to the small things and God will direct it.”

So I did. In total faith that this was where I was supposed to be.

Thoughts, doubts, fears and questions mounted in my mind as the day approached. What have I done? Am I crazy?

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Faith to Trust Fully in His Love

This month is ticking away, but thankfully isn’t finished yet. And today, I have another guest here to share some words about faith.

I met Laura Martin through the Clumsy Blogger course I took this Spring.

When someone posted a question about where we all live, I learned she lived in Arkansas, not far from my parents. So one day I messaged her saying I’d be passing through her area, and asked if she would be able to meet for lunch?

And she was brave enough to take me up on it! We enjoyed a good Smash Burger and exchanged some stories in person.

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The reason I asked Laura to share here is because they are in the process of adopting a son from overseas. Talk about faith!

Thank you Laura for sharing your words here! We will continue to pray for you as you await the finality of this adoption.


“Tell me about living in faith,” her message reads.

And I sigh inside and out.  A deep heavy exultation of carbon dioxide that empties my lungs, allowing me to take in a larger amount of oxygen with my next inhalation. Maybe, this exchange will somehow shake down the confusion that surrounds my daily faith and magically let a clearer picture emerge.

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