When It Feels Like I’m Not Enough

Well, it’s Day 24 of me writing everyday! Are you tired of hearing from me? Wait…don’t answer that, I’d rather assume you’re loving it! 🙂

Today as I write is Friday. I’m tired. I keep trying to muster up more energy, thinking my want to will finally get the idea and kick in. But it’s 2:30 now and that hasn’t happened yet.

Earlier I tried to lay down on the couch and rest, but I was interrupted three times within a 30 minute period by my daughter who sounded like a caterpillar with elephant feet doing cartwheels across the hardwood floor.

Why am I home-schooling again Lord? I have been so grumpy today. I’m sure teachers are never grumpy. Wouldn’t it be better for my kids to be with them? Then I would have time to rest and be happy when they get home.

OK, I know teachers get grumpy too – it’s kinda a part of life! But some days, like today, I’m tired and need a break from being mom! This mom thing is hard. It’s everyday…when I’m in a good mood and when I’m not. Some days are incredible and some days are totally exhausting.

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Find Rest

Today I want to share another song with you. It’s Francesca Battistelli’s song Find Rest. Doesn’t that sound wonderful? Rest. After a long week full of random school work and field trips, I still find myself needing rest. And going to the Lord for that rest is the only way to be truly satisfied.

May you be blessed this weekend!

 

 

Lord, Help Me Teach My Daughter!

As I drove home from dropping my oldest son off at youth group, I used the quiet time to pray for God to show me how to home-school my daughter. This girl is our bouncy, talkative, middle child who cannot stop doing cartwheels or singing. She’s picked out her own clothes to wear since she was 3, and consistently converses with the cashiers at Walmart.

She is the cutest ladybug in the world to me and has a heart of gold and a bed of blankets for any lost puppy on the block. She thinks outside of the box, beyond the horizon and often in Odyssey, thanks to Focus on the Family.

The trouble with this kind of thinking is it’s too big to fit in a classroom or on a math page. She sees pictures instead of the letters that make up words, so phonics was horrendous. Memorizing math facts doesn’t stick unless there’s movement involved and reading a science book filled with “amazing facts” might as well be in Latin.

I’m excited to be sharing the rest of today’s story over at the Classical Conversations website!

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Why Is This So Hard?

 

By now you probably get the picture: I wasn’t jacked about home-schooling all of my children again when this school year began. I imagined other families buying school supplies to send with their child, not finding where it goes on the bookshelf. I cried every day for weeks and struggled with “If God really called me to this, shouldn’t I enjoy it a little?”

Then God put Psalm 42 in front of my face:

As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God? My tears have been my food day and night, while men say to me all day long, “Where is your God?” These things I remember as I pour out my soul: how I used to go with the multitude, leading the procession to the house of God, with shouts of joy and thanksgiving among the festive throng. Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God.

I echo David’s honest emotions and am encouraged that a lament like this is included in God’s Word. God doesn’t get mad at us when we’re sad and downcast, He just wants us to go to Him.

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What If I Don’t Want to Homeschool Again

So now that the decision has been made, let’s fast forward to that first week of school. I walked into our office and into this conversation…

“Are you so glad to have all your kids back home and be homeschooling again?” my sweet friend asked as I walked in the office.

Immediately I envisioned my other homeschooling friends, the ones with Michelle Duggar’s personality being asked that same question. I imagined them beaming with pride and saying something like, “Oh yes! We just love to be together. I was made for homeschooling!”

But for me, I frantically searched my brain for words to describe how I felt about the situation, and finally decided on, “Ummm…well…YES.” It was more of a declaration of what I hope for than reality, but hey, you have to start somewhere.

Read the rest of this story over at East Texas Moms Blog.


This post is apart of a series called 31 stories of hope for every homeschooler. To see the entire series, click HERE.

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What’s Better Than Good Marketing?

Everywhere I turn commercials and advertisements promise a fulfilled life with the purchase of their product. This message follows me to the Brookshires check-out stand, stares at me as I wait in the dentist office, and even sneaks in at Pizza Hut when I need an easy family meal out.

If I shop this weekend at Kohls’s, I’ll find the perfect outfit to wear to next week’s event. If I buy my bedroom furniture from the local outlet, my sex life will heat up. If I use this discount code I could buy my son the newest iPad and will never hear him say that dreaded phrase, “Mommy, I’m bored” again. Retailers think they can solve all my problems.

Homeschooling is no different.

“Buy this curriculum and your daughter’s reading level will surge three grade levels overnight.”

“Buy this math program and never worry about college.”

“Purchase these additional science project materials and you will be the best home-school mom ever!” (OK, maybe my kids say that one)

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Why I’m Coming Back to Homeschooling

I want to start off today by saying thank you for reading about my journey through grief that I shared last week. When I decided to write every day in October, I wasn’t planning on sharing all of that. But as I sat behind the computer, that is what the Lord put on my heart. So now you know more of what it means when I say “life turned upside down for me.” Let’s get back to the home-school journey, shall we?

By spring break, I began praying about next school. It’ just a habit of mine. That’s always the time I begin preparing for the next school year, so it just happened naturally.

I was praying about whether this public school thing was a new season for us or if this semester was just a time to let the dust settle and we would return to home-schooling again next year.

We decided to go on our first family ski trip over spring break, which felt so official since the kids were in school. When you home-school, you can take spring break any week or month March through May, but this year this was the week!

I had already made up the school decision in my head, but on the drive to New Mexico I realized I hadn’t exactly poured over it in prayer.

I was impressed with how things were going in public school. I was able to have some segments to life and not just have everything mixing with everything else all the time. I had healthy boundaries, space to myself and the ability to go to lunch with my husband if I wanted to. Plus the kids were learning!

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Where My Hope Rests

Psalm 62:1-8

“My soul finds rest in God alone,

my salvation comes from Him.

He alone is my rock and my salvation;

He is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

How long will you assault a man?

Would all of you throw Him down –

this leaning wall, this tottering fence?

They fully intend to topple him from his lofty place;

they take delight in lies.

With their mouths they bless,

but in their hearts they curse.

Find rest, O my soul in God alone;

my hope comes from Him.

He alone is my rock and my salvation;

He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

My salvation and my honor depend on God;

He is my mighty rock, my refuge.

Trust in Him at all time,

O people; pour out your hearts to Him,

for God is our refuge.”

David said that God is his fortress. When do you need a fortress? You need a fortress during war – when you’re afraid because the enemy is attacking you. A fortress is a safe place. David states that God is that place for Him.

I love how in verse one, David declares rest in God alone and then in verse 5 he reminds himself of this truth. He says, “I will never be shaken – though war break out.” This fortress that he’s entrusting himself to, won’t even shake when the bombs are bursting all around him. His hope is in God.

What’s going on in your life that’s troubling you? Does it seem like war has broke out around you? Pour out your heart to the Lord. He can handle all of it. Tell Him your doubts, aches, fears, frustrations, confusions and in that process your relationship with God is strengthened. He becomes your most trusted friend and advisor – your refuge, your hope, your fortress.


This post is apart of a series called 31 stories of hope for every homeschooler. To see the entire series, click HERE.

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Songs of Hope

Today I want to share with you two songs that have meant a lot to me this year. The first I mentioned 2 days ago in The High Tide of Grief . It’s Danny Gokey’s song Tell Your Heart to Beat Again. I was going to re-tell you the story behind this song, but I can’t do it nearly as powerful as Danny did on this interview. Please click over to this site and hear the story for yourself and then hear the song live. He says, “I want you to begin to hope again. God wants you to believe again. He wants you to trust Him…” Don’t miss this story!

http://http://www.air1.com/music/news/2016/03/02/danny-gokey-tell-your-heart-to-beat-again-behind-the-music.aspx

As if that wasn’t enough, I want to share one more song with you. This one is by Steven Curtis Chapman and it’s called Something Beautiful. In his behind the music story, he shares how he believes “God will take the most broken things, the ugliest to look at right now…and those will be the places where the greatest beauty and glory will come from . It’s the paradox of in our weakness He is strong. ” So here is the song –

Grace has just begun my friend!


This post is apart of a series called 31 stories of hope for every homeschooler. To see the entire series, click HERE.

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