I see a pattern happening here.
Faith to say No
Logically, I think it should be the reverse.
Faith to Say Yes
Faith to Stand
Faith to say Hello
Before October, I thought the latter set of statements required more faith. God continues to teach me more about faith as we take a 360 degree panorama view of this subject. Apparently my view was only one-sided.
I love October. One day the heat has me sitting on my couch in the air conditioning, and the next I’m joining my kids outside on the back porch swing.
The breeze it brings makes me close my eyes and just breathe. Breathe in. Breathe out.
The October air smells refreshing. For most of August, I simply hold my breath it’s so hot and steamy. So after two months of that (I’m turning blue now) breathing is good!
Fall is my favorite time of the year. It signals the close of a year. Halloween, Thanksgiving and finally the holidays all hold warm, cozy memories for me. The smell of a freshly lit pumpkin candle, yummies out of the oven and that nose-dripping crispness fills the air.
Do you ever feel like the Lord speaks in a whisper?
I know, I know, Elijah’s story tells us the Lord is not in the great wind, the earthquake or the fire, but rather in the gentle whisper.
Could it be that He speaks differently, with different volumes at different times?
For the past 2 years, to me personally, the voice of the Lord has been loud.
And as I obeyed the prompting set before me, it seemed to get louder and clearer. I began writing again, even wrote a book (that’s being edited) of my journey with Him. He’s laid specific people on my heart to pray for or call and the timing was perfect. Our family traveled to Kenya, and heard Him call us back home. He’s provided for us to remodel our house.
A few months ago I was introduced to Jen Daugherty on Twitter. Yes, Twitter! A friend of hers said we had similar stories and we should meet. I’m so thankful for that!
For 31 days, Jen is dissecting the topic of brave. And since brave and faith are first cousins, I asked if she would drop a few lines for me about faith. So, here she is….
Faith is a journey…always moving forward. Many times, this means that just about the time we start to feel comfortable with where we are, we are called to change. We’re called to be brave and take our next step in faith.
Today I woke up with no words to share. I felt like I poured them all out and the spicket dried up. Then I went to church.
The pastor who’s known me since I was 12, greeted me at the door. As this man who counseled and married Adam and I hugged me, I felt tears well up that I didn’t know existed.
I was home.
I was among the familiar. I was safe.
I am so thankful for a place to share this 31 day journey of faith. I have shared about saying goodbye to friends leaving for Kenya, for dark times of my seed dying in the fresh earth and for this journey of homeschooling God has me on.
It’s been a beautiful 16 days.
Today feels like a new chapter. A transition onto further growth. Today I want to share something with you I’ve processed and I hope it will deepen your relationship with Jesus and help shed some light on areas that you often don’t understand. For we all have those, yes?
For the last few days, I’ve shared my struggle with homeschooling. We haven’t quit. But I want to share something with my fellow, hard working, homeschool moms.
Just a warning…this post my offend you. But I believe it needs to be said.
Homeschooling is a noble journey.
It’s tough. It’s self-less. It requires faith.
However, homeschooling only works when it’s best for all involved. That includes the Mom. As the saying goes, “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”
Mama needs to be a whole person to do this well.
My body and mind scream to quit.
“I can’t do this” spills out of my mouth all too frequently.
I pray for something to give.
And yet, I keep walking.
I’ve descended down the mountain into the valley. It’s dark, damp and clammy.
Yet, I am thankful for my husband. He keeps this family grounded. He keeps me grounded. I’ve been ready to fight or flight for weeks. Packed. Ready.
Somehow Adam, in his gentle way doesn’t clip my wings. Partly because he knows if he did, I’d find a way to fly anyway.
“The test of our spiritual life is the power to descend; if we have power to rise only, something is wrong. It is a great thing to be on the mount with God, but a man only gets there in order that afterwards he may get down among the devil obsessed and lift them up. We are not built for the mountains… We are built for the valley, for the ordinary stuff we are in.” Oswald Chambers, Utmost for His Highest
So that’s why this feels like the valley….it is!!
I do love those mountain top experiences, though. I even like the climb. It’s exciting, invigorating, courageous and adrenaline pumping.
But I don’t like to climb down. The steep decline hurts my knees. I might slip on the rocks. God must push me on farther.
I complain that I’ve seen all the scenery before. I want to turn around and go back up, but God gently tells me it’s time to go back to “real” life.
John 12:24 “Truly, truly I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.”
The harsh reality of bearing fruit for God’s kingdom rather than my own is that the first criterion involves death. The death of myself.
My wishes.
My plans.
My dreams.
God knows the desires of my heart. He knows what I love, what I long for, what I dream of. But before they can be His gift to me that produces fruit for His kingdom, all the ME must die.
I must on bended knee with sincerity of heart hand it over to Him and drop my hand away.
Julie Steck 